1) Do
NOT write your review in chronological order. That is, don’t begin with a bland
description of the outside of the restaurant or of the hostess taking you to
your table. Begin with your most striking idea from the whole review somewhere
in the first three sentences. Almost certainly that won’t be the first thing
that happens during your visit. That doesn’t mean you can’t begin with a vivid
description of the interior – of the cleanliness of the bathroom or the waiter's complexion or the conversation of the couple at the next table, which you will have taken the time to study - if those
details support connect with your main point, if it goes
somewhere.
“Support” is an elusive
concept, so I struck it through. “Connect” is better. After beginning
with a positive statement (with examples), you might include detail
on something you didn’t like. The contradiction is the connection. Or after praising the
food, you might – without an explicit transition – begin talking about decor, which
would be a natural progression as you unpack the whole experience. But I’d like
some connective tissue, something at the end of that section like, “But the
food is star, not the lime-green wallpaper.” Some writing coaches advise you to stay on course by putting in “scaffolding” – explicit, even heavy-handed transitions, which you
remove in the final draft: “I have been writing about the food. Waiters bring
food. It is logical for me to talk about the waiter at this point.”
Still, if your lead puts a stake in
the ground – that is, makes a strong point – you probably won’t have much trouble playing off that initial point of view in the rest of the review. Here’s an
emphatic student lead that I liked from a couple years ago:
At first impression, you might think you’d walked into
a glorified soup kitchen, which isn’t half wrong. Tommy’s Joynt doesn’t have
any menus or servers, and there’s a sign above a barrel of pickles that reads,
“Enjoy the pickles. But please only take what you can eat – when you buy
something.” The walls are covered with old beer signs, paintings of horses, and
any other kind of memorabilia that has been stuck up since 1947. Yet all these
distractions fade when hungry customers lay their eyes on Tommy’s meat.
Tommy’s is a meat market. People line up, look at the
wall of meat options, and watch as a guy with a giant knife cuts healthy
portions of all types of meat onto a plate. There’s bratwurst, knackwurst,
lasagna, spaghetti with meatballs, buffalo stew, and of course the bbq turkey sloppy
joe. You feel like you’re in a 1950’s school cafeteria. All meals are served on
a tray with options of rice, mashed potatoes, beans, and any other side that
can be scooped out of a metal tub.
2) At the end, list the basic
consumer info: address, telephone number, hours of operation, reservation
policy, price range, credit card policy, dress code (if any), noise level and
so on.
3) Give me some sort of grading
scale and use it to evaluate the restaurant. From another student, here’s
consumer information – with additional information interpolated - plus a rating
scale.
Out of 4 (Chili
Peppers wearing Sombreros)
El Toreador:
50 West Portal Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94127
415.566.8104
Credit Cards: All major
Entrees: $8.75-14.95
Drinks: (Beers and margaritas are about $4.00- a
little pricey)
Atmosphere: If you go early (around 4:30 pm for
dinner), you can hear your conversation.
After 5:30 pm, forget about it.
Service: Friendly, but a little prompt. Dishes came faster than I could eat them.
4) Tell me how much your meal costs
item by item.
5) In a note at the end, tell me
who your audience is even if you think only an idiot couldn’t figure it out.
6) For Wednesday bring a restaurant review to class that you think has something "smart" in it.
6) For Wednesday bring a restaurant review to class that you think has something "smart" in it.
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